TIP SHEET #5: Words from a Successful College Sophomore
1. My family’s expectations were clear. “There was never really any other option discussed. It was just completely normal to talk about going to college.”
2. Distractions at home were minimized. “My mom would organize our time, and we’d read a lot. We had a simple structure when we came home from school: grab a snack and do homework. A couple of chores, then we could do whatever we wanted for the night.”
3. We were treated, not rewarded. “My parents would treat us to things for a good report card, but it wasn’t consistent. The rewards, if you called them that, were sporadic and not planned at all. It wasn’t for the grades but to help us meet their expectations.”
4. Get a peer tutor. “I’d highly recommend getting a tutor if you need help; it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I had one for science and math the all the way through my last three years, and that little extra study time and personal attention made it easier. My parents used bright students who were a year or two ahead of me, and they paid them.”
5. No emotion allowed. “My parents knew I’d need a Plan to figure out what I didn’t understand. My mom helped by giving me options and ideas, and we came up with a Plan for me to talk to my teachers, get a tutor and extend my home study time. It was very business-like. I’d have to write out my Plan each time there was a bump in the road. Annoying but helpful.”
6. Practice your balancing act. “I learned how to be organized in high school and how to manage my time, especially because I was in sports. I’m beginning now to see the more adult payoff of that program, The Plan. My younger sisters watched me endure and develop, so there’s even a payoff for them.”
Click here to read/print a PDF file version of this post.
During my years in the guidance office, I knew that all parents loved their teens with all their hearts. Some just have more productive skills they use with their teens at home. These parenting skills can be learned and used at home with your teens. Just be patient with yourself and practice them consistently.
With summer vacation in full swing, your teen may look like a couch potato, letting time slip through his fingers while he meanders around the house or neighborhood with his friends. Here is one way to keep your teen engaged in learning – a fun way – during the summer: let him choose a book from a bookstore (used bookstores are great) or the library or an eBook and pay him to read it. What?? Did I say, “Pay him to read it”?? Let him choose how much; you might be surprised at his reasonable rate. On the other hand, he may want a new car for reading a book – to test you and get more information out of you. It seems that a teen tests us by pushing our buttons to see how far he can go, but it is really information-gathering.